Wisdom

What is wisdom? Wisdom is insight and understanding. The ability to make the right choice in a difficult situation, the ability to look past everything to the core of an issue. To perceive, not just simply see. Wisdom is applied knowledge, but more than that, it's properly applied knowledge. History is filled with examples of intellectually brilliant people who were also utter fools. So rampant is this in fact that we could perhaps even say that folly is part of the human condition.

So then how does one gain wisdom, how does one become wise? To be wise one must be perceptive, able to analyze a situation or problem. For without a thorough understanding of the problem at hand it is impossible to make a wise choice. At this point you might ask what about someone who makes a wise choice without knowing it? I would say that the person was lucky but that luck is not wisdom. They could have just as easily made the wrong choice, and in fact very likely will, the next time they are confronted with a problem. I would rather be wise than lucky.

We must perceive so we can understand, because once we understand a problem we can begin to solve it. Take a mathematical equation for example. Without an understanding of how the equation works you would have trouble trying to solve it. If you can perceive and understand the problem then you can apply the appropriate knowledge to solve it. If you find a toilet that wont flush, you have perceived the problem. If you check the tank and find that it has water, you now understand that the problem is likely with the lever and that the stopper is not being lifted when the lever is depressed. With this knowledge and understanding it is a simple matter to check and find that, in this case the chain connecting the lever to the stopper has fallen off and simply hooking it back up will fix the problem.

Now in the case of the toilet you might say well that's just common sense. I believe that common sense is just the simple version of wisdom. You are considered wise when you make a smart choice in a difficult situation and you are considered to have common sense when you make a smart choice in a simple situation. Both require the same set of skills. The ability to look at a situation and analyze it and apply the knowledge you have to the situation at hand.

But we still haven't answered the question of how one actually gains wisdom or becomes wise. The most common way we gain wisdom, is by simply living. Nothing teaches wisdom like experience. As long as you are able to learn from your mistakes, life is perhaps the greats teacher there is. The only problem with learning through experience is that it's slow. You can only learn as fast as your experiences teach you. Another, faster way to gain wisdom is by learning from others, either by observing the cause and effect of their actions or by talking with those who are older and wiser than you.

You could call the things you learn from others borrowed wisdom but weather it's borrowed or learned the hard way all knowledge has the capacity to make you wiser; as long as you take it to heart and learn from it.

A keen perception and ability to analyze are both important to analyzing situations as they present themselves, allowing for proper application of wisdom, and also for analyzing the aftermath of choices and actions, to gain further wisdom.

It is my personal preference to learn from others mistakes and save myself the trouble and pain of making them myself. I am also all to glad to help others not make the mistakes I have, by sharing with them what wisdom I can. And I hope that I never stop learning and never stop gaining wisdom

Relationships

Love them or hate them relationships are always complicated. It's a miracle any of us manage to find someone to marry. Even fewer manage to do it for life. Making a life long marriage to one person work, takes a supreme commitment, lots of patience and stubborn dedication, to not give up.

Statistics say that less than 50% of marriages survive the difficulties and challenges of merging two lives. A pessimist might say that two people were never meant to know each other on such an intimate level. That knowledge, especially of each others flaws, is the downfall of relationships. And they might be right, knowledge of one another's flaws may well be the cause of many a failed relationship. But I disagree with the premise that we were not meant to be known intimately.

Humans are meant for relationships. Babies don't develop properly unless they have physical contact, unless they are held. People go slowly insane when isolated from contact with others. We need people, we need relationships, we crave to be know.

There are many reasons why relationships fail. One of the biggest reasons is that people move too fast. They get caught up in the way the relationship makes them feel and they let their emotions overrule their mind. Ignoring logic and rushing in. Commitment in a relationship should never overreach knowledge and vice versa. It's a fatal decision to build a relationship solely on emotions, because emotions fade and change. Any lasting relationship must be based on more than what you feel. It must be build on commitment and knowledge. Love is not blind, it does not ignore faults and wrongs, but it does accept and forgive.

So when you start a relationship it should progress slowly, not rushing ahead to the bedroom on the first date. Give your hormones time to cool before making any decisions. Keep it light to start with, have some fun. Why take everything so seriously. Loading a relationship down with expectations is another sure way to kill it before it has a chance to start. First dates should be for having fun and getting a feel for each other not delving deep into each others pasts.

Sharing deep and personal information like childhood traumas or physical abuse should probably wait till a rapport has been established and trust gained. Share too much too fast and you can build false intimacy. Which makes you feel close like you know the person and might incline you to take actions, or place trust, you might not otherwise.

Every time we meet someone new we put our best foot forward and hide our flaws. It's human nature to do so, especially if it's someone we like or are attracted to. Yet another reason to wait and get to know someone. As their guard comes down their flaws will begin to emerge and you will get a better idea of who the person really is. There can be no relationship without trust and there can be no trust without truth and knowledge. Truth and knowledge are both things that can not and should not be rushed.

A friend is someone who makes you better than you are. If someone is hurting you or tearing you down, they aren't your friend, this goes doubly for boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses. If they hurt you, walk away, no matter how nice or perfect they seem, there is nothing that makes that okay. It doesn't matter if it's physical or emotional; abuse is not an acceptable trait.

If you rush a relationship you might miss the warning signs that would have otherwise tipped you off to these tendencies. By the time you find out, it may be too late, you may feel trapped because of commitments you've made.

A significant other should be more than a friend, they should be a partner, a teammate. They should build you up, support you, strengthen you. They should be your compliment, holding you accountable. Helping you to stop bad habits, and start good ones. They should be a sounding board and a listening ear. They shouldn't be afraid to tell you when you are wrong.

A good relationship provides shelter and strength, it provides a firm foundation and a safe haven from which both partners can achieve greater things than they could on their own. Nothing inspires a man to greatness more than having a woman for which he is fighting and there is little that gives a woman more confidence than knowing she is loved and protected.

We can attain more together than apart, so take your time to build a solid foundation of trust and honesty. Take the time to see if someone is a good fit before making commitments, before giving away part of yourself.

When you do find that person who is a good fit, that is your other half, that compliments you, bringing their strengths to our weaknesses, be willing to commit. Don't go in with the mindset that you can bail if it gets hard. Really commit to it, go all in! Pour your all into the relationship. Love is a choice not an emotion, if you make that choice, commit to it.

I can't think of anything more exciting than spending a lifetime learning about my partner, and not just a knowledge of the facts about them, but who they are on the inside, what makes them tick, how they think, and what their dreams are. An intimate knowledge, beyond facts into the essence of the person. I could spend a lifetime learning and still have more to discover.